Hate Myself
by Duckiedemyx
Summary: Arthur has never noticed how amazing Merlin is. Will he win him before another knight does? OOC-ness. Lance/Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, slight Gwen/Arthur and slight Vivian/Arthur.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N./ Okay, funny thing. I actually wrote this for ****school. It was so funny when my teacher turned it back to me. She said, and ****I ****quote, ****"****You have a very… unique style of writing.****"**** It was AWESOME! :P**

**I would like my Beta to know how much I love him for always being patient with me. I love you man! :D**

**Anyhoo****! It****'****s not finished and I don****'****t know when I****'****ll get ****back to it but hope you enjoy. This was inspired by a Merthur video on Youtube.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Merlin, sad isn't it?

**Hate ****Myself**

Merlin's eyes opened slowly as the light from his window warmed his skin. He sighed contentedly, stretching his arms over his head before sitting up. He lightly rubbed his eyes, driving away the sleep that still attempted to consume his body. He got up and went to change his clothes into his normal wear for the day. Once he had changed he walked out of his room to visit Gaius who was preparing their breakfast.

"Morning."Merlin said in high spirits. Gaius looked at him oddly before he put two bowls of steaming porridge onto the table.

"What's got you so happy today Merlin?" the old man asked.

"What? Nothing," he paused, a look of confusion crossing into his blue eyes, "Can't I be happy?"

Gaius stared at Merlin once more before a small smile feel onto his lips.

"You don't have to hide it Merlin." Gaius said. Merlin stared at him in confusion.

"I know that you had a present from a visitor last night." Gaius explained. Merlin flushed lightly, remembering the note and single red rose he had found on his bed last night. He had been getting gifts like the rose for about a month now but they had never had a note with them. He wondered who all the gifts had come from and soon found out when he read the note.

"_Meet me tomorrow__night at midnight under the window of my room._

_-Arthur.__"_

Merlin had been so surprised when he had learned that Arthur was the one who had been leaving gifts for him. They had grown up together with Merlin appearing like an old man in front of Arthur. Once he had revealed himself as a young man, like Arthur, the Prince had been shocked. It had taken awhile for him to get over it but welcomed him as his old friend once more. A month later, he started receiving the anonymous gifts. They were never anything to expensive, which had made Merlin think they were a commoner, just little trinkets that were always unique somehow. His favorite had been a clear, glass orb that glowed blue once it hit the sunlight. It always started in the middle then slowly consumed the whole orb in blue. It would shine in the dark when the candles couldn't produce that much light.

Once he had learned that Arthur was behind all of the gifts, his body had filled with a strange sort of happiness that he had never felt before. Hopefully he'd be able to talk to Arthur later to thank him for his gifts and maybe ask about the reason behind them.

"I should go wake up Arthur." Merlin announced as he shoveled the porridge into his mouth, leaving before Gaius could question about the contents of the note. He walked towards Arthur's chambers with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. When he reached the double doors, he pushed them open slowly, peeking to see if he had awakened Arthur. He found Arthur, or what he assumed was Arthur, bundled in his heavy blankets. He walked closer to the blob that was breathing and pulled down the top of the blankets to reveal the golden hair that belonged to Arthur. He pulled the blankets lower, revealing the Prince's face, slightly tanned from always being out in the sun.

Merlin's fingers softly traced his jaw, feeling the growing stubble that he knew he'd be forced to shave later. His fingers drew away as he stared at the Prince's sleeping features. He snapped his eyes away from his peaceful face and went to open the closed curtains. A groan came behind him as the light streamed through the window, informing him that the Prince had woken up.

"Good Morning, Sire." Merlin cheerfully said as he walked over to the bed a bright smile on his face. A huff came from Arthur as he turned toward Merlin, his eyes squinting against the invading light.

"Merlin, may I ask you something?"

"Yes Sire." Merlin questioned.

"Why were you touching my face?" Arthur asked.

Merlin felt himself pale with horror.

"No, I wasn't," he tried to cover it up.

"Yes you were. I felt it." Arthur wouldn't back down that easily. Merlin thought hard as he tried to figure out how he could get out of this.

"Eyelash,"Merlin blurted out.

"What?"Arthur asked in confusion.

"Yup."

"On my jaw?"

"Must have moved when you were sleeping. I mean it's not like you're graceful all the time. You should see yourself sleep, you move around a lot." Merlin smiled. Arthur stared at him with a quirked eyebrow.

"You watch me sleep?"

"What?"Merlin looked shocked. "No."

"But you just –"

"Arthur,"Merlin stopped him. "I think you're still asleep."

"No I'm not, Merlin!" Arthur roared in rage.

"How about I go get you some breakfast?" Merlin stated as he walked out of the room.

"Merlin!"Arthur yelled after his servant, but he was already gone.

A few minutes later, Merlin came back holding a tray of assorted cheeses, breads, and meats. Arthur was once again lying in bed. Merlin sighed as he placed the tray on the table before going to wake up the Prince once more.

"Arthur,"he shook the bundle in bed. "You need to get up now."

A hand shot out of the blankets to grasp Merlin's wrist and brought him down face first into the blankets.

"What the hell?" Merlin tried to get free but by that time, Arthur had come out from under the blankets and has pinned him to the bed. Merlin stared up into Arthur's sapphire eyes while his hands were being held next to his head by Arthur's hands.

"Why did you touch my face?" Arthur demanded.

Merlin blushed lightly as he averted his eyes from the Prince's.

"I told you. It was an eyelash."

Arthur studied Merlin's face. He knew that the dark haired boy wasn't telling him the truth, but he let it slide to question him about the other issue.

"Do you really watch me sleep?" he asked, his tone no longer demanding, but still authoritative. Merlin was trying his hardest not to look at the Prince but failed when he glanced back into those blue orbs. Merlin gnawed on his bottom lip, contemplating whether or not he should tell Arthur the truth.

"Merlin?"Arthur asked, wanting desperately to know the answer.

"No."Merlin said, barely able to hold his gaze with Arthur.

"Oh."Arthur let go of Merlin's hands and felt a sense of disappointment envelop his being. He shook his head but theywouldn't go away. Merlin got off the bed and went to the wardrobe to pick some clothes out for Arthur. Arthur stared at Merlin's back, his small shoulders, his thin waist, his nice butt.

Wait… What the hell!

Arthur covered his eyes. 'Did I really just check out my manservant and best friend?' While Arthur was panicking, as was Merlin. 'Oh Crap. Dollop-Head almost knew I watched him sleep. I need to be more careful.'

Merlin turned around just as Arthur had removed his hands. Both eyes met before Arhtur's gaze flew down Merlin's body before being covered by his hands once more, a groan escaping his full lips. Merlin flushed lightly when he realized that Arthur had just checked him out.

"I'll just leave your clothes next to your breakfast." Merlin said shyly, making a quick departure. Arthur watched him leave with a heavy heart. He didn't mean to scare his friend away, his eyes just kind of moved on their own accord. Sighing, he got up and dressed, all the while thinking about this morning. He munched on a piece of bread as his mind drifted. He had never really found Merlin as a romantic possibility, but the past month had him looking at his friend in a new light.

The more he thought about it, the crazier his thoughts became. What if his father found out about his growing… feelings? What would he do to Arthur, or worse Merlin? He then decided that he had to distance himself from Merlin.

When training came around he avoided Merlin like the plague. He swiftly grabbed his sword and shield from the dark haired man and practically threw them at Merlin when practice ended, making a quick exit from the field. Merlin had tried to corner Arthur throughout the day but he always seemed to elude him or get away without Merlin noticing. Merlin growled in frustration as he turned away from Sir Leon to confront Arthur to just catch his red Pendragon crest disappearing in the distance.

"Merlin? Are you okay?" A deep voice asked behind him. He turned and was met with Sir Lancelot.

"Yeah. Arthur's just being a clotpole right now." Merlin sighed, allowing his anger to diminish.

"I could talk to him if you want."

Merlin's eyes widened in shock and turned to the brunette knight with hope and friendship.

"Would you do that? Really?" Merlin was amazed. Lancelot was always helping him, yet never asked for anything in return, a trait Merlin loved about the knight. Lancelot nodded and Merlin flew his arms around his friend, drawing him into a tight hug.

"Thank you so much." Merlin let go, a wide grin on his face. Lancelot blushed from the action but quickly recovered before Merlin could see it and maybe tease him later about it.

"No problem."

Sapphire eyes glared down at the two men still in each other's arms. A tanned hand ran through blond locks as a frustrated sighed passed through his full pink lips. Why was Merlin hugging Lance when he could fit much better in Arthur's arms. Arthur shook his head, demanding those thoughts leave, but they never did. They seeped lower until his mind was consumed with thoughts of Merlin. He growled in annoyance and slammed his hand against the wall he was leaning against, ignoring the dull throb of pain afterwards. A knock on his door broke him out of his thoughts.

"Come in." he said. Lancelot walked in and bowed slightly to the Prince before straightening.

"I was wondering about something earlier." He started, watching Arthur with calculating eyes.

"And?"

"Something I noticed between Merlin and yourself."

Arthur froze and turned his gaze away from the window to have them land on Lancelot's face.

"Nothing's between us. He's just my servant." Arthur replied sternly. Lancelot's hand drew up into a defensive posture.

"Alright, I was just wondering."

Arthur relaxed more and moved to sit down on his favorite chair that sat facing the fireplace. Lancelot bowed and headed towards the door but stopped short a few feet to turn and look back at Arthur.

"So you two really are just friends?" he asked. Arthur's heart beat faster, "Yes, we're just friends," his own heart broke at his next words, "Besides; I'm to wed a beautiful woman, not some idiot of a servant."

Lancelot held his tongue as anger surged inside him. He walked the rest of the way towards the door and grabbed the handle, opening the door.

"Then you won't mind if I take him." He said, eyes boring themselves into Arthur. Arthur's head snapped towards Lancelot, fear and anger in his eyes. Lancelot smiled lightly before he left the room. Arthur seethed in silent rage as he glared back at the fireplace.

"Stupid Lancelot. Stupid Merlin." He sighed in agitation, raking his fingers through his hair.

"Why did it have to be Merlin?" he asked to no one in particular.

"Why did what have to be me?" a curious voice asked him. Arthur turned around to see Merlin holding his dinner. He hadn't even realized it had gotten so late.

"Merlin."He smiled.

"Sire?"Merlin asked, looking at the Prince with a quizzical expression.

"Make me a fire."

Merlin sighed, placing the tray down and walking to the fireplace, right in front of Arthur, to kneel down and grab some firewood that's stored close to the fireplace, but not too close so as not to catch fire.

Arthur smiled and sat back to enjoy his view that was kneeling right in front of him. He yearned to reach out and drag Merlin to him but stopped himself when his conversation with Lancelot came back into his thoughts.

"_I__'__m__to wed a beautiful woman, not some idiot of a servant.__"_

"_Then__you won__'__t mind if I take him.__"_

Arthur looked out the window in regret. He hadn't meant to say those words, but it was true. His father wanted him to marry a woman. There's no way he'd be allowed to marry a man. Maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to get Merlin out of his head if he started getting 'intimate' with women, something he had never done before.

His thoughts filled with ideas for potential mates who he might be able to tolerate. Gwen could work; she was a sweet and beautiful woman, or maybe Lady Vivian, even though she had an over-protective father. While his thoughts were filled he never noticed Merlin had already lit the fire and was standing next to him, waving his hand in Arthur's face.

Arthur had been acting distant lately and it was slightly worrying him. Merlin gave up trying to get the Prince's attention and left the room, getting ready for his meeting tonight with Arthur. He just hoped that he remembered.

Arthur soon came to a stop in his thoughts and looked towards the fireplace. The fire was slowly diminishing barely giving off any heat now. The castle bells chimed. Arthur counted the numbers. …Ten….Eleven….Twelve… The chimes stopped and Arthur realized that he had been spacing off excessively today. He got up from his chair, stretching his sore muscles and walked over towards his bed. He pulled off his boots first, flinging them over his head not caring where they landed. Next was his shirt, which he also tossed somewhere in the distance. He climbed into bed only with his trousers on. He looked toward the discarded clothe sand thought of Merlin and how he would complain about the mess he had made. He closed his eyes, allowing sleep to consume him, never noticing the letter lying on his desk a few feet away addressed to him. The inside was similar to the one that had been given to Merlin earlier.

"_Meet me tonight at midnight__under the window of your room._

_-Merlin.__"_

Pale hands grasped the note as the castle bells chimed. …One…Two… He stared up at the full moon and stars that illuminated the cascading tears that were freefalling from his eyes without his permission. He wiped them away, anger and fury fueling themselves into the pit of his stomach. How could Arthur do this to him? Merlin sighed and walked back into the castle towards his room. He had been out late - scratch that, early - and needed to get some rest for tomorrow. His stomach churned uncomfortably when he thought about seeing Arthur later that day. Hopefully he would have a good enough excuse as to why he wasn't there last night.

The light flooded in through the window, stirring the raven-haired man, a groan of disinterest flowing through his thin lips. Blue eyes opened and blinked rapidly trying to drive the sleep away. He got up, still in his clothes from last night, and went to go eat breakfast with Gaius. After breakfast he dressed into some clean clothes and walked towards Arthur's chambers with heavy footsteps. After last night he was so upset he really didn't want to see Arthur, but nevertheless it was his job. He reached the doors and waited a few minutes trying to compose himself before pushing the door open.

The sight before him made him want to do three things, cry, scream, and faint. Arthur, the Arthur that had been sending him presents for the last month and asked him to meet him last night, was kissing Gwen. They pulled apart and stared into each other eyes before Gwen looked down in embarrassment. Merlin's mouth dropped and he silently walked away from the sight. That's why Arthur hadn't been there last night, he was with Gwen. Merlin felt his heart sink as he walked away.

Arthur blinked at Gwen who had just burst into his room early this morning. He had been asleep but her sobbing and door slamming had woken him up. He had tried to console her while she babbled on and on but he couldn't understand what she was saying so he just nodded and kept nodding every time she looked at him for some sort of answer. Then suddenly after one of his nods she had smiled at him, he had thought that it was finally over and she had calmed down. Apparently not though when she leaned in and kissed him. Her soft lips against his were warm, but their was no spark with it. Once she had pulled away, he stared at her confusion and sorrow in his eyes. He felt so sick after that kiss, but he didn't want Gwen to think that he had thought she was disgusting so when she looked away he lightly kissed her cheek. She looked up, hope in her eyes. All he could was shake his head sadly.

"Sorry Gwen, but I'm not your knight."

Her face fell but she nodded.

"Arthur?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he pushed some hair behind her ear, trying to comfort her in some sort of way.

"Are you Merlin's knight?"

Arthur froze and looked at her in shock.

"W-what makes you say that…" he trailed off as she looked at him with a wicked smile plastered on her lips. She lightly slapped his cheek playfully before turning on her heel and walking right out the door. Arthur stood in confusion as he thought about what had just happened.

An hour later Arthur was walking down the stairs to get to practice when he was suddenly pulled into an alcove.

"What the he-" he was silenced by a pair of lips against his own. He pushed his assaulter away wiping his mouth. Standing before him was Lady Vivian herself.

"What? Didn't like it?" she asked him, "Well I can make it better."

Arthur went to protest but she was faster then him and had once again pressed her lips against his. A loud crash broke them apart. Arthur backed away from the very persistent blonde woman and looked around for the source of the noise. Standing at the bottom of the stairs stood someone who made Arthur's stomach drop when their eyes met.

Merlin stared up in horror as Lady Vivian pulled Arthur towards her and started kissing him. The armor he had been carrying to go get polished clashed against the tiled floors of the castle, indicating his presence. When Arthur pulled back and turned towards him, his heart sank deep into his stomach. Arthur'slips were bruised from all rough kissing and his hair was disheveled. Merlin couldn't help the tears that fell down his face as he ran from the scene in front of him.

He kept running even when he heard Arthur's insistent calling and his footsteps slowly growing louder. Merlin willed his legs to go faster as the tears fell in a steady stream now. 'Almost there.' Merlin thought as he turned a corner, a few more turns and he'd be at Gaius' shop and be able to hide in his room. Unfortunately a hand grabbed onto Merlin's wrist holding him still.

"Lemme'go." he choked, his breath coming in pants and his tears still falling. He struggled against his captor attempting to free himself. 'I was so close.'Merlin thought hopelessly as he struggled more.

"Merlin, what's wrong?" a gentle but concerned voice asked him. Merlin turned and came face to face with Lancelot. Relief flooded into him and he collapsed against his chest, wrapping his arms around the taller man.

"Merlin?"Lancelot questioned, "What's wron-"

"MERLIN!"

Merlin's eyes widened and he tightened his grip on Lancelot as he heard the unmistakable clicking noise of Arthur's leather boots. A few seconds later, he could hear Arthur's panting just a few feet away. He tightened his already tight embrace with Lancelot and burrowed his face deeper into Lancelot's chest.

"There you are." a relieved Arthur said. Merlin didn't answer, he didn't want to be around the man who had just broken his heart twice in one day.

"Merlin, look at me." Arthur asked, voice soft and comforting. Merlin felt his willpower lessen as Arthur spoke to him like that. Lancelot, noticing this, wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist, holding him close to his body. Arthur noticed the action and a stern look crossed his face. Jealously was clear across his face as he glared at Lancelot.

"Let him go." Arthur demanded.

"No."Lancelot countered.

Arthur seethed but remembered what Lancelot said,_"__Then you don__'__t mind if I __take him__.__"_He slowly backed away hurt and sorrow flashed across his face. He shook his head. No, he would fight for Merlin.

"Give him to me, Lance." Arthur asked.

Lancelot looked at him, his eyes softening in sympathy. His shook his head and turned picking up Merlin and started to walk away.

"Lance,"Arthur yelled, effectively getting his attention, "I will get him back."

Lancelot smiled challenging, "Bring it."

**A.N./ Hope you enjoyed. :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Duckie: Well, since you all asked so nicely I decided to write more of this. Hopefully it will be as much of a success as the first chapter. Enjoy.**

**So I was about halfway through this chapter when I couldn't think of anything so I played a random song and the song ****A Drop in the Ocean**** by Ron Pope came on and everything just clicked. This song is so beautiful. Honestly the whole time through this song, I was thinking of Lancelot singing this song to Merlin.**

**P.S. This is un-beta'd so sorry about any mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Merlin. I'm not that creative.**

Lancelot carried Merlin back to his room and laid him gently on his bed. He automatically curled into a ball, wallowing in sorrow. Not knowing what to do, Lancelot softly stroked Merlin's hair trying his best to calm the dark haired boy down.

"What happened?" Lancelot asked, worry clearly in his voice.

Merlin made a whining noise and then went silent. "Ah." Lancelot nodded his head, pretending he knew what Merlin was talking about. Suddenly Merlin flew his head up staring wide-eyed at Lancelot.

"Do you think he'll hate me? What if he already does?" he turned his wide blue eyes towards the door before they returned to Lancelot's face. "Lancelot, I can't have him hate me." his eyes started to tear up.

Lancelot stared at the one person he actually started to have feelings for ever since Gwen rejected him a few months ago. She had told him that her heart belonged to Arthur even though she loved him also. For a while Lancelot had resented Arthur but he soon realized that hating Arthur wouldn't make Gwen love him so he buried his feelings and moved on. He still loved Gwen, always will, but somehow between the resentment of Arthur and actually realizing that Gwen would never be his he had somehow started to fall for Merlin. It had been confusing at first because he had never thought that he would ever feel like this with a man, much less Merlin. Yet somehow the cute warlock was able to steal his affections, and this time Lancelot was going to fight this battle. He wouldn't allow Arthur to yet again win his love from him.

"Forget about him Merlin." Lancelot said as he grabbed Merlin's face, watching as those brilliant blue orbs gazed back at him.

"How can I?" Merlin felt his suppressed tears from earlier finally force themselves out from within him.

"What about me?" Lancelot stared at his love, "Why can't I be the one?" Lancelot knew his voice was rising by this point but he couldn't stop himself. "Why is it always Arthur? What does he have that I can't provide?" He turned his gaze towards Merlin seeing his bright blue eyes wide in shock and a tint of fear. Lancelot felt himself drain of energy. How could he have scared Merlin like that? "Why can't I have a happy ending also?" he whispered as he fell to the ground not being able to hold himself up anymore. He sat on the ground not allowing himself to look up at Merlin, perfect Merlin who probably thought he was disgusting now. His eyes were focused on the ground so intensely that when a hand was placed onto his face he couldn't help the flinch his body let loose. He looked up to meet Merlin's watery blue eyes piercing into his equally watery brown eyes.

"Maybe I could try." he whispered as his thumb stroked Lancelot's face, wiping tears away. Lancelot let out a shaky breath, a small smile coming to his face before he encompassed Merlin in a tight hug. Merlin returned it with as much gusto.

"I love you." Lancelot whispered, his facial hair scratching itself against Merlin's neck. The lithe boy tensed in the knight's arms. Did he just hear him right? Lancelot loved him. Lancelot….loved Merlin. He couldn't believe it. Someone actually loved him. He pulled back from a reluctant Lancelot.

"Lancelot?" Merlin said, trying to get the knight to look at him. Lancelot sighed heavily but refused to look at Merlin. He was forced to look though when two hands grabbed his face and forced him to look at Merlin.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." Merlin scolded. A wispy laugh leaked itself out of Lancelot's form as he smiled at Merlin. A small smile appeared on Merlin's face as he stared at Lancelot. He couldn't understand why he hadn't ever noticed him before. Lancelot was everything he wanted. He was kind, strong, understanding, honest, and loyal. Yet Merlin couldn't understand why he only had feelings for Arthur. So in that moment Merlin decided that he was going to forget Arthur and finally go for something that could be good in his life. So he leaned ever so slightly forward to touch lips with Lancelot. It was a simple touch, just a chaste pressure of skin and skin before Merlin pulled back to look Lancelot in the face. He didn't get far though before Lancelot's hand grabbed the back of Merlin's neck and brought him in for a searing kiss.

The first touch of lips was heavenly, something that Merlin needed. He never knew how Lancelot felt and it was an amazing feeling to know that someone actually cared for him. The second kiss was more passionate, something Merlin had always longed for and he couldn't believe he found it in someone who he had never thought he would have found it in. Once Lancelot let go of his neck, Merlin leaned back to look the knight in the eye.

"I think I deserve someone like you in my life. I'd like to try this." he whispered, only flinching a little when Arthur's face appeared in his mind but it was quenched easily when he remembered the kiss with both Gwen and Vivian. Lancelot's smile broke Merlin out of his thoughts as he rested foreheads with the knight.

"I'd like that also." Lancelot whispered as he brought Merlin in for a sweet kiss. However Merlin wasn't having any of that as he bit Lancelot's lower lip, abusing the piece of flesh until Lancelot finally opened his mouth allowing Merlin to plunge his tongue inside. Their tongues entwined together, touching softly and sliding against each other. A groan bubbled out of Merlin's throat as his hands came up to latch onto Lancelot's raven locks. They pulled away breathing heavily to catch eyes before Lancelot pushed Merlin against the bed, placing his body weight upon the young warlock.

A shudder ran up Merlin's spine as he was encompassed by Lancelot's warmth. He looked up to gaze into the knight's brown eyes. Those beautiful eyes that were showing nothing but love. Merlin felt himself flush from the intense emotions he was feeling.

"Merlin." Lancelot whispered. He couldn't believe it. Merlin was with him, he was here with him instead of Arthur. For once Lancelot felt like he had finally been someone's first. He could feel the liquid start to accumulate in his eyes but he couldn't bring himself to blink, otherwise he might wake up and realize that this was nothing but a dream. Merlin watched the emotions swim in the knights eyes and brought his hand up, resting it against Lancelot's cheek. A small smile came onto the warlock's face as he lifted his head to touch lips with his knight. **His**. Merlin's chest swelled with an uncomfortable feeling, one he hadn't felt for anyone besides Arthur until now. He pulled away to look at Lancelot's face. His dark hair was framing his face in a very appealing way, his eyes closed, and his mouth slightly open from his soft breathing. Merlin gazed at him for a few moments before the knight finally opened his eyes to be awarded with a smiling Merlin.

"Hello." Merlin whispered, not wanting to raise his voice too loud.

"Hey." Lancelot smiled. He leaned down to plant a soft kiss upon the warlock's lips before he leaned down and breathed in Merlin's scent, his tongue occasionally flicking out to tease the servant's neck. A soft chuckle escaped the younger males lips as he pushed the knight up to kiss him once more. Lancelot's tongue came out and started tracing Merlin's lips before the warlock opened up with a shudder and groan. Their tongues touched and caressed each other, not wanting to hurry. They wanted to enjoy each other as hands started to roam, but not frantically. There were light touches here, a caress there. Without having to talk about it they both somehow had come to the agreement that they wanted to take things slow. After a few more minutes of lazy kissing they pulled away, resting their foreheads together as they closed their eyes and just breathed each other in.

"Thank you." Merlin said, breaking the silence. Lancelot opened his eyes to be immediately met with those blue ones that he had come to love.

"What for?"

Merlin shrugged, "Everything. Nothing. I just feel like you helped me realize something that I needed to. Thank you for it."

A smile broke against Lancelot's face as he kissed Merlin's forehead before he flipped onto his side, bringing Merlin against his chest.

"Well you're very welcome then." he chuckled. Merlin smiled as he snuggled closer to the warmth that was radiating off of the knight. He looked up at Lancelot, "Can I stay here?"

The knight looked down at his Merlin and stared at him questioningly. A sad smile came onto the warlock's face as he avoided eye contact. "I don't want to see him right now. Knowing him he'll be hiding out somewhere just waiting for me."

Lancelot nodded as he brought Merlin closer. "Yeah, stay for as long as you want."

Merlin sighed in relief before snuggling against the knight's chest, allowing himself to fall asleep.

**(Insert Break here)**

Arthur watched them leave until he couldn't see them anymore before he screamed in frustration and dragged his fingers through his hair. How could he let this happen. Granted he didn't know how he had felt for Merlin until yesterday but he still couldn't believe he lost him to Lancelot of all people. He leaned against the castle wall, his head thumping softly against the cold stone. This felt all to familiar for him. Lancelot and he had fought over the affections of Gwen and Arthur had won in the end, yet now it seemed that Lancelot was the current winner. A groan came out of the young prince's mouth as he looked up towards the ceiling. He and Lancelot really needed to stop liking the same people.

"Arthur?"

He twisted around, his eyes lighting up hoping it was Merlin. Standing a few feet away was Morgana. He sighed as he fell back against the wall.

"What's wrong?" she asked. He glanced sideways at her before returning his gaze upward.

"Nothing Morgana."

She frowned at his reply and walked closer to him, leaning against the wall right beside him.

"Why don't I believe that?" she asked. Another sigh passed through the prince's lips as he focused his gaze on the woman who he considered his sister. Should he tell her? A frown marred his face as he looked deep into her emerald eyes.

"Come on Arthur. You can trust me." she nudged his shoulder lightly hoping to coax the answer from him. However that only seemed to make him recede as he got off the wall and started to walk away.

"Arthur!" she yelled after him but it was to no use as he continued until he turned a corner and she lost sight of him. A frustrated growl escaped her lips as she threw her hands in the air before she made her way towards her chambers.

**(I love Morgana so much, btw this is a break.)**

Movement woke Merlin up as he slowly opened his eyes to be met with a tan chest. His heart thumped loudly in his chest as he looked up to see Lancelot staring back. His brown eyes were looking at Merlin so lovingly that Merlin forgot to breathe for a while.

"Good Morning." Lancelot spoke as he stroked some of Merlin's hair out of his face.

"Morning." Merlin answered back, his voice coming out a little breathless. A smile made it's way onto the knight's face as leaned forward and pecked Merlin's lips softly. The warlock's eyes closed as he relished in the soft feeling of lips on lips. Once he pulled away Merlin opened his eyes and smiled back.

"I like waking up like this." Merlin said as he snuggled closer to Lancelot and licked along the pulse point of the knight's neck. A shiver ran down Lancelot's spine as he pulled Merlin closer.

"I'm glad." Lancelot replied as he turned onto his back dragging Merlin on top of him. The warlock let out a moan as the knight's leg made contact with his crotch. A shudder of lust ran through Lancelot as he Merlin closer to him and started sucking on his neck, occasionally nipping the pale skin lightly. A groan was forced out of Merlin's mouth as his hips moved against Lancelot's leg.

"Merlin." Lancelot gasped as he grabbed the boy's hips and picked up their pace. His own member was starting to harden from their rutting. He pulled Merlin's face down about to start a hot make out session with his little warlock before a knock on his door startled him. A yelp came from Merlin as he shot up. However because of the fast movement the servant lost his balance as he tipped sideways and landed on the ground with a painful groan.

"Lancelot?" a female voice asked behind the still closed door, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." he replied sitting up to look at Merlin who was laying still on the ground. A chuckle passed through him as he got up and helped the poor servant up.

"Well Prince Arthur would like to see you right now. He said it was very urgent." the voice said. A groan passed through his lips before he looked at Merlin, the warlock's eyes filled with sympathy.

"Tell him I'll be right there." he sighed. A heard a noise of agreement before the sound of footsteps were heard, leading away from the room.

"Well it looks as if I've been called upon." he said. Merlin nodded before he leaned forward a gave the knight a peck on his cheek.

"Better go see what the prat wants before he comes looking for you." he said, his eyes downcast. Lancelot lifted his face before kissing the boy on the lips, pulling back after a few minutes.

"I'll come find you afterwards." he smiled, trying to reassure the servant boy that nothing too bad would happen. Merlin smiled back before both of them walked out of Lancelot's room. They stood in front of the door just gazing at each other for a few moments before they both leaned forward for one more kiss as they separated, heading opposite ways. Merlin walked towards Gaius' room as Lancelot made his way towards Arthur's chambers.

**A.N./ Done! I was gonna write more but then I was all like NAW! I'm making you suffer because I love you. ****J**

**Anywho this chapter was super weird and annoying to write because I didn't know what to do. I kind of want Merlin to sleep with Lancelot yet at the same time I don't because I kind of want his first time to be with Arthur. Tell me what you think. If you don't give me a straight forward answer I'm gonna be a bitch and have Merlin molested by someone else… maybe. I'm just too lazy. I'll probably just do eenie-meenie-minnie-mo or something. Thanks guys! Love you all.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Duckie: So with a score of 2-1, Merthur will have their virginity sex scene, but I decided because I love to watch you squirm I'm making it both. Lancelot will be having sex with Merlin also. :D**

**If that losses me followers I'm sorry but I love LancelotxMerlin almost as much as I love ArthurxMerlin.**

**Thank you **FaithStrange **for informing me that the story might be moving fast. I try not to do that and it's a little hard for me because I want to get all my ideas out there because if I don't I tend to forget them and writing them down as notes doesn't do anything for me because by then I just feel like it doesn't work and I lose inspiration. I've been trying to make my stories more detailed and longer so it doesn't seem like that and I really appreciate the feed back. Thank you again. :]**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**UN-BETA'D**

**Chapter Three**

Arthur was pacing back and forth in his chambers. It was already well into the morning, almost afternoon and Merlin still hadn't come by. Flashes of Lancelot carrying Merlin away passed behind his eyes and he grit his teeth and fisted his hands wanting desperately to punch someone, preferably the man who had walked away with his manservant. A knock on the door broke Arthur away from his thoughts.

"Enter" he said, fighting to keep his voice calm. A maid walked in, the same one he had sent to call Lancelot to his chambers.

"Did you do as you were told." he asked her. She glanced up at him, making eye contact before staring back at the floor. She nodded her head and a wicked smile came to his face.

"Good, now when he gets here complete your task and I will reward you with free passage out of Camelot with full protection." he said before walking out the door. He didn't wait because he knew she would agree. He had found her walking around Camelot acting suspicious so he, being the prince and having to look after his people, followed her to a dark corner where lo and behold she had been a witch. He had rushed forward and seized her by the hand. He was going to tell his father about her but the look in her eyes struck deep within him. Before he knew it, he started to talk to her wanting to know her business in Camelot. She had told him that she was searching for a young boy by the name Mordred. Arthur had told her that the boy had already escaped and left. Apparently she was supposed to meet the boy here but ever since Mordred had escaped the security in and around Camelot had gotten so bad that she couldn't get very far without someone either escorting her back to Camelot or finding out she had magic when she called to her druid brethrens. So Arthur had allowed her a place at the castle until he could find a way to safely escort her out of Camelot on his own. She had only been working at the castle for a week before yesterday Arthur had come up with a proposition for her that would finally allow her to leave Camelot. All she needed to do was this one thing and once Arthur had Merlin he would personally escort her deep into the woods far enough from Camelot allowing her to get to her tribe.

Arthur made his way towards Gaius and Merlin's chambers. Once there he hesitated for a second before squaring his shoulders and knocked on the door. A crash was heard from inside then Gaius' scolding before the sound of glass was heard being swept up. The door opened to reveal Gaius' face. He looked at Arthur a quizzical look on his face.

"Arthur." Gaius said, acknowledging the young man in front of him. The sound of glass was heard again as Gaius turned around to look back into his quarters, allowing a small window open for Arthur to look into the chambers. Merlin was on his knees a dustpan in one hand and a small broom in the other. He had jerked at the sound of Arthur's name, spilling the glass he had just swept up into the pan to come tumbling out and shatter even more onto the ground. He didn't dare look up, not wanting to see the prince's face.

"Can I talk to Merlin?" Arthur said returning his gaze back to Gaius when he knew his manservant wasn't going to look up.

"Certainly." he said sensing the obvious tension building up in the room, "I'm going to go get some herbs. I'll be bad in a few minutes." Gaius said before walking out the door leaving Merlin and Arthur alone. Arthur walked the rest of the way into the room before he closed the door. He could see the way Merlin tensed at the noise. Arthur stood in the middle of the room shifting from one foot to the other in nervousness. Merlin still kneeled on the ground his whole body still and rigid not even daring to breathe.

"Merlin." Arthur said, moving closer to his servant. The man tensed even more staring more intently into the ground and the broken glass shards there.

"Merlin, please, look at me." Arthur knew his voice was starting to sound desperate but he couldn't seem to bring himself to care much. All his servant did was start to tremble. He kneeled down right in front of Merlin, only wincing slightly when a piece of glass stabbed itself through his clothes and embedded itself into his skin. Merlin finally looked up when a hiss of pain escaped Arthur's lips.

"Arthur." he breathed out, his eyes connecting with the prince's, "Oh my god, Arthur. You just kneeled in broken glass." he screamed, throwing the broom and dustpan away getting up to get the bandages and tongs to get the glass out with. A hand on his wrist stopped him as Arthur stood up only wincing lightly before he brought Merlin closer to him.

"I'm sorry Merlin." he whispered into the warlock's ear, holding him close to his body. A shiver ran down Merlin's spine. This is what he had been wanting all these years. This closeness, these strong hands holding him, those lips kissing him. Wait, what? Merlin was brought back to reality with the pressure of another set of lips on top of his. Shock rendered him motionless as Arthur pressed harder onto his lips. A sigh passed through Merlin's mouth, his whole body sagging in joy and relief as he opened his mouth for Arthur's exploring tongue. It was the most intense thing either of them had ever felt as their tongues battled each other for dominance. Arthur's arms circled around Merlin's waist bringing the warlock close to his body, loving the sensation of his servant's body against his own.

"I finally have you." Arthur spoke, his lips still brushing against Merlin. A soft chuckle brushed against his lips as he opened his eyes to be met with a brilliant sapphire color.

"Arthur." Merlin whispered.

"Now Lancelot will never have you."

Merlin's eyes snapped opened as he pulled away. "What did you just say?"

Arthur rolled his eyes as he tried to pull the younger boy closer again yet when he resisted the prince frowned.

"Did you seriously think I would lose against Lance?" Arthur said a cheeky smile blooming on his face.

Merlin shook his head in disbelief as he pushed harder against Arthur. Confused, Arthur let the servant boy go.

"What's wrong Merlin?" he asked. His servant was creating as much distance between them as he could at the moment, slowly backing towards his bedroom.

"Is that what I was? A simple prize. You couldn't stand the thought of _losing_ me to Lancelot. At first I thought he never would but now that I've seen this side of you, he may very well win this prize." Merlin turned and dashed into his room, locking the door behind.

"What? No!" Arthur ran to the door, knocking fiercely against it_, "_Merlin that's not what I meant. You've misunderstood." he yelled through the door but there was no response. Anger flushed through him as he paced around the room, occasionally glancing at the door before he took a seat at the small dining table. Merlin would have to come out at some point. Arthur would just have to wait until then.

**(Now we get to see Lance. :D)**

Lancelot was heading towards Arthur's chambers at the moment. He knew he should be scared of what was to happen but he was too joyful this morning. Finally having Merlin had made his life fill complete and he would not give him up easily. Upon reaching Arthur's chambers, Lancelot couldn't stop the nervousness that consumed his whole body. He stared at the door for a few more minutes before he finally raised his fist and rapped his knuckles against the door.

"Prince Arthur, I have come as you have requested."

It was a few moments of silence before a scream came from the room. It sounded like a woman's and fearing the worst Lancelot shoved the door open to see, nothing. It was perfectly still and everything looked normal. His eyes gazed around the room, scanning for any movement. There was nothing. No Arthur, no woman. Lancelot felt himself start to grow tense from the strangeness of it all. A soft creak sounded behind him and he twirled around so fast that he almost lost his footing but was able to balance himself easily. Standing in front of him was a woman, a maid from the looks of her clothes. She was holding a broom with both hands, held above her head. She stared at him as he stared back before his eyes traveled up towards the broom in her hands.

"You weren't about to hit me over the head with that hoping it would knock me out, were you?" he questioned, his eyes now back on her but watching her movements carefully. She looked up at the broom then back at the knight before a sheepish smile came to her face.

"No?" she asked, gauging his reaction, deciding whether or not to actually try to hurt the knight now that she had been found out. Apparently she found her answer when she brought the broom down, trying to hit the much faster knight. He grabbed the broom and yanked it from her hands, throwing it across the room. She huffed, placing her hands onto her hips and fixed the knight with a glare.

"Rude much?" she said. Lancelot stared at her in confusion. What was happening?

"I get one assignment from the prince, not a very hard one either, and I can't even do that." she fumed, throwing her hands in the air and walking over to the other side of the room to pick up her broom before she turned back to Lancelot, sizing him up with her eyes before she raised the broom again, trying to go for another strike. Lancelot knocked the broom out of her hands before he grabbed her wrist and brought her face close to his so that she had to look at him.

"Wait, this is all of the prince's doing?" he asked. She gave him a 'are you serious' look before she nodded her head.

"Why?" he asked, feeling a weight start to settle in his stomach. She looked at her nails, picking some dirt out from under the corner of one while she spoke, her voice sounding bored, "He wanted me to knock you out for a couple hours, maybe tie you to a chair, while he went and had some fun sexy times with his manservant."

Lancelot left go of her and was out the door before she could even say anymore. She huffed in annoyance before rolling her eyes, "Men and their manly gay love."

Lancelot was rushing down the halls making his way towards Merlin and Gaius' room. He couldn't left Arthur win again, not when Merlin reciprocated his feelings and he could actually make Merlin happy, unlike some annoying prats he knew.

**Meanwhile…**

Merlin was wiping the tears from his face. No, he would not shed anymore tears for that arrogant, self-centered, annoying prince. He drew in a shaky breath before he got up, needing to wash his face because he knew, even without looking at it, his eyes must be red and puffy. He sighed once before he got up and walked over to his door, opening it slowly before he walked over to the wide bowl they had laying on the table for when they washed their hands. However on his way to the table, being the clumsy fool that he was, tripped over his own feet and was headed for the fast lane to hurt and pain city. Instead of pain though, he felt warmth envelope him. He opened his eyes cautiously from when he had closed them mid-fall. Instead of the ground he was staring into a red dyed tunic. He looked up to see sky blue eyes staring back at him. A groan escaped Merlin's throat before he could even stop himself. Why couldn't he have landed on the floor instead?

"Merlin." a gentle voice asked him, as a soft hand came up to cup his cheek. He leaned into the touch, feeling himself sigh involuntarily before he came to his senses and jerked his head away. Hurt filled the prince's face and Merlin had to look away, not wanting to feel pity for the man holding. Speaking of which, Merlin pushed against the prince's chest, not wanting to be near the man right now. This time however the prince held on, not wanting to let his manservant go.

"Merlin, please." Arthur spoke, his voice a little hard. He wanted Merlin to stop squirming and just look at him but he knew if he let the man go he doesn't know when he would get another opportunity. Merlin however struggled harder when he heard the tone in the prince's voice, the voice he used when he wanted people to listen to all of his commands and not ask any questions.

"Merlin." his voice broke, as he squeezed his servant closer, "please."

Merlin paused in his struggles. Arthur sounded so broken. He could feel the sympathy and desire to hold this man closer but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Arthur had hurt him too much and he couldn't bring himself to comfort the poor blond. Apparently his body thought otherwise as he started stroking the blonds' soft hair, making cooing noises in the back of his throat. The blond pulled him closer and nuzzled his face against Merlin's neck. The warlock tensed but quickly relaxed and continued his comforting. He froze when he felt a tongue trace his pulse point. He let out a groan before he could stop himself. His face flushed at the noise he had just made before he pushed Arthur.

"Arthur, stop." he said, attempting to push the blond off of him. Instead the blond bit down on Merlin's neck, making him let out a gasp. Taking that as a good sign he shifted himself closer, brushing their hips together, their groins rubbing. A moan burst out of Merlin's mouth before he could stop it.

"Arthur, seriously, let me go." Merlin pushed at the blond again, unintentionally thrusting his hips forward. A groan came from the blond and Merlin looked down to stare into darkened blue eyes. Fear crawled into his system as he looked into the prince's hungry eyes.

A door slamming caught their attention as Merlin's head whipped to the side as he saw Lancelot standing there, his chest heaving up in down, panting deeply. His eyes widened as he stared at the two.

"Lance." Merlin whispered, tears forming in his eyes, his hand reaching out for the raven haired man. Suddenly, the warlock was yanked away from the blond. Relief filled the warlock before he heard a sickening crunch. He turned back at the scene in front of him. Arthur was on the ground, holding his nose, blood pouring out of it. Lancelot however was standing above him, his whole body shaking in unsuppressed rage.

"How dare you touch Merlin." he hissed. "He doesn't deserve someone like you who will throw his emotions around like a piece of parchment. He's too good for you and you need to get that through your thick head you pompous idiot."

It all happened so fast that Merlin didn't know what to do but the next thing he did register was that Lancelot was being escorted out of Gaius' chambers by guards. They were saying something about dungeons and harm against the prince. Merlin couldn't focus though because the next thing he knew was that he was sitting on the ground, warm arms wrapped around his waist as he cried into a blood soaked red tunic.

**A.N./ I'm finally done. Whoot whoot! I was actually going to make the fight longer and more epic but it's eleven here and I have school tomorrow. I wake up at 6 every morning and deal with a whole bunch of annoying and boring classes later. I've actually been impressed with myself lately, I've been going out with friends and actually been social, that's why it took me so long to write this chapter. I would just like to say that I appreciate all of the favorites, follows, and reviews to this story. I'm so glad that a lot of you actually like reading my stuff. You guys are the main reason why I still keep writing so thank you so much. I wouldn't be lying if I said I wanted more reviews but I know how it is being a fellow reader and not really knowing what to review but I do love all of your guys reviews, you make my day so much. I love you all. ****J**


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